Morning Is Wiser Than Night

If I were a Dead Russian Composer, I would be Pyotr Chaikovsky. I AM the Real Chaikovsky! Considered by most Westerners to be the greatest Russian composer of all, most late 19th Century Russians think I'm actually too Westernized in my musical tendencies. Despite this criticism, as well as the flak I had to take for my preference of Y-chromosomes, my ballets "The Nutcracker" and "Swan Lake" are upheld as among the greatest and most popular pieces of all time. Who would you be? Dead Russian Composer Personality Test

If I were a Dead Russian Composer, I would be Sergei Rakhmaninov. I lived in the early Twentieth Century and was well known for my compositional, conducting, and piano skills, yet I am melancholy despite this talent. My famous works include my nearly-impossible piano concerti. Who would you be? Dead Russian Composer Personality Test

I got Chaikovsky the first time, but there were several questions where I could think of three equally plausible answers, depending on my mood, and the other two answer options both gave me Rakhmaninov.

Thanks, Athaira!

If I were one of Elgar's Enigma Variations, I would be Sir Edward Elgar (E.D.U.). I am the exalted composer of this magnificent work, surrounded by my adoring circle of friends. I am energetic and somewhat enigmatic myself, a big fan of codes and logic puzzles. As for the abbreviation, it's a paraphrase of my wife's pet name for me, Edoo. Who would you be? Enigma Variations Personality Test

Ladies and gentlemen, a math problem: If eight people are going to a hotel, and it is four people to a room, how many rooms will be rented?

Two, right? With fifteen years of math training, I thought so too. No, the correct answer is four, as this is not a mathematical, but a sociological problem.

There was a certain emptiness in me that weekend, as I realised I did not have to go anywhere, I did not have to eat out, I did not have to spend more hours of my time before a computer screen. It was a restless weekend; I got some loose ends of my His de Maths presentation tied up, and I learned from Ida the physiotherapist at dance that most people are inflexible enough that making suspects sit cross-legged with their hands resting on their heads is considered a stress position by interrogators. A stress position?

And I had a problem.

Lady Mollweide to parents of trivia team members, cc'd to me, excerpt:.

Revised cost breakdown for Chicago

Trivia Night prizes 450.00
Trivia Night Refreshments, posters, clipboards etc 100.00
Registration for NAQT tournament (discounted) 380.00
Return flight for 5 players plus 2 (female) coaches + male chaperone 4503.92
Air Canada - Tango Plus depart Thursday (?) a.m. return Sunday evening)
Hotel Rooms 4 rooms x 3 nights x 80.00 960.00
Transportation in Chicago $10.00 per person per day 240.00
Insurance (cancellation and health) estimated 800.00

Extras
Boat trip(est.) 160.00
Gallery and museum admissions 150.00
Food top-up + money cushion (?) 500.00
Team clothing (?) 250.00
Total 8493.92


Incomings

3 bake sales (so far) at approx $100.00 300.00
Refreshments at Musical 350.00
Sale of leftover drinks, refreshments 200.00
Trivia Night 50 players x 20.00 1000.00
Sponsorship / Donations 1400.00
Car wash(est) 200.00
Raffle (est) 200.00
Tutoring (est) 200.00
Coffee sales (est) 150.00
Plant sales (est) 200.00

Tourmaline replies:

Sorry, where is the 4 rooms for 3 nights for $80.00 coming from?

I registered two rooms for 3 nights for $80.00 - that was the special price for quadruple occupancy using the discount code provided by the tournament organisers. If we are looking for double occupancy, the discount code will not apply and so I bet they would not be $80.00 per night. So either way, 4 rooms for $80.00 is inexact.

We need to get the rooms issue resolved soon; perhaps a parent poll - "Do you allow your son, Player X, to share a bed with Player Y and a room with Players W and Z, if that means there are less headaches for Tourmaline (Coach T) and Lady Mollweide (Coach C) and less money you have to pay/raise?" Would it be foolproof if the parents sign a waiver saying yes? If the entire United States, or high school trivia teams thereof, are doing it?

Back when our grade 8 band had a trip to Canada's Wonderland, we had quadruple occupancy (lads on one floor, ladies on another) and I never heard on the school grapevine of any problems (well, I can only speak for four 14-year-old girls, and about the worst thing we did was play Truth or Dare...). I think both Lady Mollweide and I would be informally polling teachers who had handled similar trips in past years to see how this had worked out. Other than the Principal, we did not hear of any other concrete objections.

There is also the question of, since we decided it would be fair to bring 5 players, even if we go into quad occupancy, one lucky gentleman will get to sleep in the adults' room, and the issue of the beds in the adults' room is another thorny issue entirely.

In past trips to the Reach provincials, the boys have behaved themselves very well, did not trash rooms etc, and as far as I know neither left anything behind, nor damaged property or each other, nor brought or used any forbidden substances. On the other hand, for the last three or four years at least, Reach has been giving players single rooms.

This is the reason I am cc-ing this letter to the parents: I think you should be fully informed and able to contribute on the issue of accommodation for your sons.

Tourmaline

Of course, I went to school to be reminded that I have more things due on Monday April 11 than I can shake a stick at. And then I skipped trivia practice, despite the ICT this weekend, and went instead to keep my promise to the Dark Lord and clear out my desk. This time for sure.

"Do you have a moment?"

He looked up from his laptop in his classroom. "Do you need me to let you into the Mac lab?"

"Yes, and I may also need some advice."

"What about?" As I expected, he was guarded.

"When you took the volleyball team to OFSSA, how many people did you have per room? I asked you about this before, and you hedged your answer."

"Four. Four to a room, I think."

"And there were no objections to this?"

"I gave them the choice, either that or sleep on the sidewalk. There were no objections."

"And that is the way it is usually done? Four to a room?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Really? Because the principal is objecting to us now."

"What about?"

"Well, for our trip to Chicago. Since the whole tournament is taking place at a hotel, the hotel is offering us a low rate for quadruple occupancy. But the Principal objected. She said 'teenagers should not be sleeping four to a room,'" I outlined the situation.

"I do not see why this is so. They stood it. You do have to take a chaperone along, right? Because the coaches are female?"

"Yes, we are. One of the parents, probably." If none of them pull through, you're next on my list, my dear. But I did not say that.

"So you are going to have to put him in a separate room; he'll love you for it."

"Why so?"

"So that no one will disturb you when you are in your undies," he replied, with slight difficulty at my stubborn questioning of this taboo. I was reminded of the Sex and the City episode: "I was not raised in a naked house." "Neither was I. She probably was." While I am young and have the abs of an aikidoist and the legs of a dancer, I like myself in my undies, thank you very much.

He continued, "If there was a female chaperone coming with the volleyball team, I would have put her in a separate room all by herself."

"And she would have loved you for it," I said.

"She would have. Seeing members of the same sex in their undies is ok; seeing members of the opposite sex is taboo. And it can lead to big problems."

I thought of our wonderful dojo, with the washroom-and-corner to change in; spend enough time practicing low-budget aikido, and you forget about any such taboos. Guys all look the same. As do girls.

"So talk it out with Lady Mollweide."

"I will; I am just polling various people. So I will need the iMac."

"So you will need four rooms. You can put 2 guys in one room and 3 in another and rotate so that one of them gets a single bed."

The ridiculous mathematics of this! Even if Lady Mollweide talks Lord Mollweide into going (or I take a lover), I can see that instead of Lady Mollweide and me, The Man, and the team, it will have to be The Couple, The Other Woman, and the team. Come to think of it, I'd like to be the Other Woman. And bounce around on TWO queen beds all by myself.

"Or we can have one of them sleep on chairs," I recalled our grade eight trip to Canada's Wonderland, where Athaira preferred to sleep in two armchairs instead of with me (Athaira, that experience made me feel inadequate ever since; just kidding).

"Or get a bus," he suggested. "It is Chicago, there are buses, get one of them to ride on them back and forth. Once it finishes, make him go on another bus," he paused before an exit.

"Pick a direction, any direction," I called cheerily.

"This way." He let me ahead of him into the drizzling afternoon.

"It's rainy."

"We won't melt," he replied. "Contrary to popular belief, I am not a warlock."

I stopped in my tracks. "Hold on a moment, paradigm shift here. You are not a warlock?"

"Nope."

He let me go on ahead of him (never let a warlock at your back!) while he reprimanded a bunch of lads for playing ball in the traffic circle. "We did get one student hit by a car and get head trauma; we don't want to lose any more students."

When he caught up with me, I asked, "When did this happen?"

"A few years ago."

"Before you came or after?"

"I think it was a little bit before I came."

"Then I must have been there," said the sage elder me, "and I have never heard of this story."

We proceeded down to the Mac lab. "This won't take you long, would it?" he asked. "You just need to erase your files?"

"And iTunes," I reminded him. "Your students don't need to listen to my wonderful comforting German music." Oh, la plage de St. Tropez, we had a dirty love affair and there is music in the air when we're in love...

"Well, it won't take long. Because I have six students waiting for math help upstairs."

"Crying?" I grinned with anticipation of the sight.

"No, just trying."

"You aren't doing your job well, then."

"I told them I do not appreciate crying."

I settled down to the iMac and selected my folder for termination.

"So how did it go?" the Dark Lord asked me .

I gave him a quick summary. "Well," he replied, "I am sure they were all really impressed with your efforts."

"It is not what you are sure," that way of his of being certain of my success has always annoyed me, even though I know he knows no other way to express himself in this context, "it is what they are sure."

"That's true. So, would you do it again?" the Dark Lord asked as he did his own fussing with another iMac. He knew the answer already, probably. In that sense, he knows me not wisely but too well.

"You know, when Lord Bedivere announced 'The School's first annual Trivia Night!' I wanted to say 'You've got to be dreaming in Technicolor!' "

"You mean, you did not mention to Lady Mollweide that this is a one-time contract?" he teased.

"Well, you know, Dark Lord," I said, "you accused me once that I like volunteering for stuff. It is indeed a flaw of mine. A really big flaw."

He laughed, and I deleted the iTunes in one massive clump. We spoke of the future of the Mac lab, and of burning the DVD of the musical.

"Well," I said, having nothing more to do there but to let the Dark Lord consume his dark chocolate, "I shall see you around."

He shut the Mac lab door and turned out the light; we were in darkness in the outer lab as he said, "Well, I hope it all irons out for you."

If it irons out, this blog would not be interesting for my fan club to read. "As soon as something irons out, something else takes its place. It's a fact of life," I said.

"I mean, about your trip and all," he opened the outer lab door and we proceeded upstairs.

"Whether it irons out or not," I said, "I am going ahead with it. Darn those other hotel rooms, though, they're on my credit card."

"They're on your credit card?" he repeated as we crossed the courtyard.

"Well, I reserved them on my credit card."

"And you are sure the school will pay you back?" he looked at me archly.

"If they're not, I would sever all..." I began, and then, in the words of CHAT transcribers everywhere, "triple-slashed." My connections with the school will not pull a single brick of it down if I severed them - except for maybe that of Lady Mollweide and the trivia team. "If not, I would sue them."

And very maybe that of the Dark Lord. "You'll have to make a PowerPoint presentation to the judge about it."

"Keynote, Keynote!" I laughed. "I'll go to you."

And thus went the first real true Dark Lord and Tourmaline conversation in months and months.

And so endeth this part of my saga, but since there are still plenty of loose ends, it would be an insult to my readers to end the story now. More tomorrow.