I've been having way too much fun, thanks to Juniperus

My Harry Potter Spoiler of Doom is: Hermione flees to Cuba without a second glance Neo from the Matrix saves the universe in a very sexy scene Lucius Malfoy becomes a Broadway star in the library, with the revolver Hermione prevents global warming by using the Pensieve. Severus Snape goes on a hot date with Moaning Myrtle in the Room of Requirement Draco Malfoy becomes a Muggle in a scene J K Rowling wept as she wrote Get your Harry Potter Spoiler of Doom

I'll stop now.