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It entered my mind that our society dictates that I should not be writing about how beautiful I am, except in jest, writing about how great I feel and how much I love my life --- I shouldn't be "bragging". It makes me "selfish". I should feel guilty about it.
First of all, the two emotions I find most useless and foolish to indulge in are guilt and regret. They contradict two principal tenets of the Tourmaline belief system: accept responsibility for your actions, and that we live in the best of all possible worlds. When we regret an action, we long for the world that might have come into existence if that action did not occur; but how do we know this world is a better one than the one we are living in now? I normally dislike C.S. Lewis, but "To know what would have happened, child? No. Nobody is ever told that." So we waste time and energy longing for the past, instead of accepting the consequences of our actions in the present, and working with those. Not that we should meekly accept the present and not seek to change bad things in the now --- but we should strive for a better future, not long impossibly for a better past.
Not that criminals should not be punished for their actions. They should be; that is part of the consequences. However, there is a difference between doing something criminal, that you know, or should know, is wrong, and, for example, writing something in a blog post, or kissing someone. You had no idea at the time whether that will turn out wrong or right; you took the chance, and you accept and work with the world that results. Thus, the only things I actually regret are the times I have cheated or stolen. And those turned out to have extremely minor consequences that I know of, so I do not waste my energy regretting them much. However, I did grow up in a place and time where guilt was often used to manipulate people; I sometimes find myself doing it without thinking, another practice I strive to eliminate from my conduct. I intensely dislike feeling guilty, and I especially dislike being manipulated into that feeling. And most particularly I dislike it when guilt embitters something that mostly actually feels good. And that does not hurt anyone. This guilt then hurts yourself, and is a waste of energy.
Certainly when I unintentionally hurt someone, I apologize and I try not to do it again. Certainly, when I make an error, I fix it to the best of my ability. Certainly, when I recognize I did something by a suboptimal method, I try to remember the optimal one for the next time I do it. Certainly, when I see a hole in a blog post's argument, I go back and edit it. And then I move on. I do not agonize over the past.
Hence, I redefine selfish and egotistic behaviour as that which builds yourself up through putting others down. Notice immediately that selfish people are thus the diametric opposite of those who feel good about themselves; selfish people feel wrong about themselves, and strive to fix that wrongness by making others feel bad.
Right now I feel good. Great. Grinning, absolutely gorgeous and fantastic (except that I want to sleep). And I honestly would be more delighted still if others had the same feeling (your choice on the sleep part). Hence, whyever should I feel guilty that I am young and have plenty of virtues?
I think the future would be even better if you others who read this blog go forth and stop regretting any past "mistakes" you made, that brought you where you are today. I wish you joy. Intense, brilliant incandescent joy, or steady glowing joy, as you choose, but non, ne regrettez rien.
Including writing blog posts while half-awake, eyes burning holes in your head, and happy.
As a famous, famous Russian children's song summarized my argument:
Slowly the minutes go drifting past,
Them once more, you can't expect to see,
And although we're sad, a little, for the past,
Certainly the best is yet to be.
Maybe we hurt someone without meaning to ---
The calendar page will hide that day.
Forth to new adventures, friends, we rush with you;
Faster, driver, take us far away!
Like a white tablecloth
The road stretches far away
And it goes piercing
Straight into the sky.
Everyone, everyone
Believes in better things
As the little light-blue train
Goes rolling by and by.
First of all, the two emotions I find most useless and foolish to indulge in are guilt and regret. They contradict two principal tenets of the Tourmaline belief system: accept responsibility for your actions, and that we live in the best of all possible worlds. When we regret an action, we long for the world that might have come into existence if that action did not occur; but how do we know this world is a better one than the one we are living in now? I normally dislike C.S. Lewis, but "To know what would have happened, child? No. Nobody is ever told that." So we waste time and energy longing for the past, instead of accepting the consequences of our actions in the present, and working with those. Not that we should meekly accept the present and not seek to change bad things in the now --- but we should strive for a better future, not long impossibly for a better past.
Not that criminals should not be punished for their actions. They should be; that is part of the consequences. However, there is a difference between doing something criminal, that you know, or should know, is wrong, and, for example, writing something in a blog post, or kissing someone. You had no idea at the time whether that will turn out wrong or right; you took the chance, and you accept and work with the world that results. Thus, the only things I actually regret are the times I have cheated or stolen. And those turned out to have extremely minor consequences that I know of, so I do not waste my energy regretting them much. However, I did grow up in a place and time where guilt was often used to manipulate people; I sometimes find myself doing it without thinking, another practice I strive to eliminate from my conduct. I intensely dislike feeling guilty, and I especially dislike being manipulated into that feeling. And most particularly I dislike it when guilt embitters something that mostly actually feels good. And that does not hurt anyone. This guilt then hurts yourself, and is a waste of energy.
Certainly when I unintentionally hurt someone, I apologize and I try not to do it again. Certainly, when I make an error, I fix it to the best of my ability. Certainly, when I recognize I did something by a suboptimal method, I try to remember the optimal one for the next time I do it. Certainly, when I see a hole in a blog post's argument, I go back and edit it. And then I move on. I do not agonize over the past.
Hence, I redefine selfish and egotistic behaviour as that which builds yourself up through putting others down. Notice immediately that selfish people are thus the diametric opposite of those who feel good about themselves; selfish people feel wrong about themselves, and strive to fix that wrongness by making others feel bad.
Right now I feel good. Great. Grinning, absolutely gorgeous and fantastic (except that I want to sleep). And I honestly would be more delighted still if others had the same feeling (your choice on the sleep part). Hence, whyever should I feel guilty that I am young and have plenty of virtues?
I think the future would be even better if you others who read this blog go forth and stop regretting any past "mistakes" you made, that brought you where you are today. I wish you joy. Intense, brilliant incandescent joy, or steady glowing joy, as you choose, but non, ne regrettez rien.
Including writing blog posts while half-awake, eyes burning holes in your head, and happy.
As a famous, famous Russian children's song summarized my argument:
Slowly the minutes go drifting past,
Them once more, you can't expect to see,
And although we're sad, a little, for the past,
Certainly the best is yet to be.
Maybe we hurt someone without meaning to ---
The calendar page will hide that day.
Forth to new adventures, friends, we rush with you;
Faster, driver, take us far away!
Like a white tablecloth
The road stretches far away
And it goes piercing
Straight into the sky.
Everyone, everyone
Believes in better things
As the little light-blue train
Goes rolling by and by.
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Glad to hear you happy!
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
--Nelson Mandela